NEW HOPE, Photography

Things between Neil and I had been strained for months, but by June 2024, the cracks became impossible to ignore. Financial pressure played a significant role—I had been laid off from “The Russian Empire” for 13 months, despite over 150 job applications. I was draining my savings and 401k just to contribute. Reflecting on it now, I see how these tactics were part of a larger strategy of control and manipulation. I later discovered that Neil may have played a role in redirecting my web searches, compounding my sense of isolation and frustration.

Prior to discovering the redirection of my "Big Apple". In May 2024 I landed an interview at “Life Insurance at NY.” Later, I discovered it links with mission "Deadpool" . The hiring manager, a former colleague (from "British Latina" chapter) casually brought up my “ British Accent,” this pushed me to mask myself again during the onboarding process especially with no "luck" in securing work. The warning signs where everywhere—like the company being an LLC, conflicting directions on the work and career progression from both managers, and even the hiring manager urging me to select specific test answers moments before entering the exam room(which you need to pay for if you fail) Additionally you do not get paid or fully onboard to the team until you pass their life insurance exam. After 1 missed and 2 failed attempts at the insurance exam, I was emotionally drained.

What started to concern me was Neil knowing my results and that I fell short on study hours, prior to me even sharing it with him.

One night, the stress became unbearable. I woke up in a panic and asked Neil if we were okay. His defensive response—“I’m not fucking anyone!”—came out of nowhere. I hadn’t even suspected infidelity, but his reaction felt like a confession. About a week later, I discovered he was having an affair with Amy from New Hope. Neil not only brought her into our apartment when I wasn’t home but also booked her stays in our building’s guest apartments.

Neil had mentioned that Amy was someone he worked with at "Best Pun Pigs" in the past and referred to her by the nickname “Black Tea.” At first, it seemed insignificant, but in hindsight, it was a code (Download the Learn the Code for more info) I came to the realization in November 2024 during my "Woman to Woman" discussion discovering it was their shared language to mask their affair and "Project Arc" .

On June 27th 2024, The depth of his betrayal unraveled when I overheard a call with Amy, mentioning a nearby walking bridge: “Yes, it’s miles away. Remember the bridge from last time?” She was waiting for me to leave, standing on the walking bridge in a white vest and sunglasses, her car parked in my spot. Neil’s obsession with parking gates now made sense— and the direct email on June 4th, 2024 from our building notifying me of an unauthorized vehicle. He had orchestrated others to help him cheat and cover his tracks.

PRESS PLAY- Note: Since the gate is for residents only and a gate pass if needed. No one can access the parking lot without it. On this day Amy came over the gate had a block.

One evening, I decided to test a theory and went to a bar Neil frequented when he said he was out with "the boys". I wore my AirPods, but I didn’t play anything. This helped me listen to my surroundings while appearing disengaged a technique I recommend but dont suggest mentioning to the person. (I made the mistake of mentioing my methods and discoveries to Neil and it was corrected right away). I overheard the group behind me talking openly: “We’re helping him cheat,” one said, followed by laughter. They didn’t realize I was listening. Nor do I believe they are aware of the "bigger picture". Moments like this taught me that small actions—like appearing distracted—can reveal the truth. It was both validating and heartbreaking to hear confirmation of what I already suspected.

Another telling moment occurred when I mentioned to Neil that someone had told me about his actions. I again tested the theory and discovered that during moments of anger, grief, and excitement. People reveal themself. Anger to hide, grief to let go, and excitement to share ("because its too much fun")

His immediate response—“Who? I’ll make sure they get fired”—exposed more than he intended. At that moment, I realized he wasn’t acting alone. He was paying people, even asking me/ thinking out loud if i think if he gave money to someone smoking outside would they accept it? Later realizing that he would continue to confuse me with Amy. His overreaction and willingness to spend money to maintain his cover revealed the extent of his manipulation.

The final straw came when I noticed something strange with our laundry. Neil and I washed our clothes separately, yet he washed other items I found in his clothes pile particularly an orange swimsuit of mine—one I hadn’t worn in a long while and wore on our May 20,2022. Which you will learn more about in Chapter "WAR HOLIDAYS".

When he mentioned it coming up to me talking about the orange swimsuit, he stopped mid-sentence, as if about to show me a picture, and then diverted the conversation with an excuse and bringing up St. Martin. It became clear that Amy was wearing my clothes and he kept confusing us both.

The thought of "Parent trap" and war-themed symbolism became impossible to ignore.

Neil’s behavior grew more bizarre. He became more fixated on surveillance, using an AirTag to track me. After Amy’s discovery, his tactics escalated: he started smoking less but encouraged me to smoke more, On July 4th, 2024 I caught on to him making eye contact and signaling a skater filming us if he captured me smoking.

Signals and patterns continued to emerged: clockwork-like alarms, and Neil pulling strings and others willingly complicit.

The pressure built, I started to find ways to "cover up" afraid to leave the apt, even hiding in the closet finding myself spiraling into moments so deep that I began to think of self-harm.

Neil tried to convince me otherwise, dismissing my observations and undermining my confidence. But the more I documented, the clearer things became, and the stronger I felt. This process wasn’t just about gathering evidence; it was about reclaiming my sense of reality.

I shared these feelings with a friend, and their support, my daughter and now my love for this nation helped me hold on. SO I LEFT! I moved back home to my parents.

If there’s one takeaway for readers, it’s this: trust your instincts and document everything. When your surroundings feel wrong, write it down. When someone tells you your reality isn’t real, record the details. Documentation is a tool for mental clarity and strength, a way to anchor yourself in truth when others try to unmoor you.

Music has the power to heal, to inspire, and to connect us. At every moment we could all find the need for something to ground us. For that reason, I invite you to add The EchoShow88 Playlist to your Spotify Library. Follow Team Echo Alpha for both private and public playlists where you can contribute songs to support our community one beat at a time.

Additionally, if you or someone you know if struggling To Write Love on HerArms (TWLOHA), is an organization dedicated to providing hope and support for those dealing with mental health struggles.

Stay tuned for my next beat drop! Where I delve deeper into my time with Neil during the "War Holiday” . The trips that lead to National Security.